Counseling Services: A Message for Parents
The Counseling Services Office at Fitchburg State College is committed
to providing quality services to enrolled students at the College.
As college mental health professionals, we recognize that for many
students, personal,  developmental,
or psychological challenges may arise during their time at FSC,
and may jeopardize their ability to fully profit from their educational
experience. Our staff aims to help and support students as
they struggle with these challenges.
We know that for most students, parents continue to play a critically
important role in their lives. While the college years typically
present significant changes in the relationship between parent and
child, research (as well as our own experience) suggests that those
students who maintain positive and trusting relationships with their
parents experience fewer struggles in the areas of college adjustment
and self-esteem, and tend to make better behavioral choices while
at school.
We believe that the college years ideally encourage increased independence
and autonomy for students, however we also recognize and respect
the ongoing role you will play in the upbringing and welfare of
your child. To this end, we offer the following information
in the spirit of hoping that you will assist us in our efforts to
be of service to your son or daughter.
Recognizing the signs of a potential problem
As a parent, you may have access to "information" that may be relevant
to your son or daughter's psychological well-being. The following
verbal and behavioral signs may be suggestive of a potential problem:
- Aggressive or threatening behavior
- Social withdrawal, or other marked change in social habits
- Marked changes in personal hygiene
- Preoccupation with weight, food, or exercise
- Dramatic weight loss or gain
- Excessive crying, emotionality, or mood changes
- Marked changes in energy level (e.g., listlessness or hyperactivity)
- Noticeable changes potentially associated with drinking or drug
use
- Increases in pessimism, hopelessness, or helplessness
- Change in academic habits (e.g., a historically hard-working
student who seems not to care about academic performance anymore)
- Bizarre behaviors (e.g., paranoia, strange speech patterns)
- References to suicide or death
- Any other behaviors or symptoms which represent a distinct departure
from the behavior you've always seen from your child
Some general guidelines for how to respond to your
concerns
- Don't "put off until tomorrow." Bring up issues and concerns
with your son or daughter as soon as you begin to notice problems.
Ignoring disturbing behavior is unlikely to "make it go away."
- Have a caring, concerned, nonjudgmental discussion in private,
at a time and place that is conducive to a meaningful conversation.
- Listen to your child at least as much as you talk to them.
- Avoid the tendency to be critical or judgmental.
- Avoid the temptation to offer easy solutions to problems, or
to "take care of everything" for your son or daughter; rather,
problem-solve with them regarding specific actions they may take
to confront their issue(s).
- Know your own limits. Parents are an incredibly powerful
part of a child's life, but sometimes deferring to professional
help is appropriate and called for.
Making a referral for counseling services
In many cases, your son or daughter may be hesitant regarding seeking
professional help. They may need to know that you don't see
them as a "failure" or as "weak" for doing so. If, indeed,
you have decided to recommend to your child that they seek our services
(or other professional mental health services), be prepared to give
specific information regarding cost (in the case of FSC Counseling
Services, for enrolled students, there is no cost), location (Hammond
Building, Third Floor), and how to make an appointment (by calling
978-665-3152, or stopping by the office). You might try suggesting
that your son or daughter "give counseling a try" by attending one
session. Finally, be humble and realistic; sometimes a seed
or two need be planted before a student "hears" others' concerns
and actually follows through with a counseling referral. If,
however, there is clear and imminent danger to your child or somebody
else, respond more aggressively by contacting your local hospital
emergency room, or your local police.
Understanding confidentiality
You and your son or daughter should understand that as required
by state and federal law, as well as professional ethical codes,
mental health professionals are obligated to protect the privacy
and confidentiality of their clients and their disclosures.
There are exceptions to confidentiality (outlined more extensively
on the Confidentiality Page
of our website), which typically involve imminent danger to self
or others, but in general, students expect (and we honor) protection
of their confidences. These confidentiality requirements remain
in effect even when a parent has made the referral
for their child to counseling services. Please understand
that while we will respect our students' confidences, and comply
with the law, we will certainly listen to concerns about a student
from interested parties, including, of course, parents.
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